ENRAGED COP

YOU TELL TELL ME** WHAT THIS REALLY NECESSARY??
I WISH THE 14 YEAR OLD CAUCASIAN WAS ME IN THAT
VIDEO. I MEAN I HAVE RESPECT FOR ALL I DONT THINK
IN ANYWAY THIS WAS FAIR. YOU TELL TELL ME.

Man Farts on COP

A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and “passed gas loudly,” the complaint said. Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

“The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons,” the complaint alleged. He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn’t move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station. “I couldn’t hold it no more,” he said.

He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.

Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him. Now that story is a real gas!!!

.....WAY TO GO**

Homeless Beat Box

Man Arrested For Flashing Gang Signs On Santa's Lap

When you visit your parole officer, don't have a photo of yourself violating your parole hanging around your neck. A Calif. man has been thrown in jail for flashing gang signs in a photograph he took with Santa Claus at a mall in Orange. Eighteen-year-old Uriel Oliva was arraigned Monday after his probation officer saw the photo hanging from the teenager's key chain. Oliva had been under a court order not to associate with members of his street gang, engage in gang activity or hang out at the Village Mall.Orange police Sgt. Dan Adams says the photo was taken Dec. 16 and included Oliva and two other members of the Orange County Criminals. The photo was spotted on Oliva's key chain during a probation check.Oliva is scheduled for a pretrial hearing Jan. 9 in Santa Ana. He faces a maximum of 18 months in prison if convicted of three violations of the court order, all misdemeanors.

STRANGE FACTS

• Eskimos use refrigerators to keep food FROM freezing.
• The sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”, uses every letter in the alphabet.
• Average life span of a major league baseball is 7 pitches.
• A 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
• The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year by the weight of books.
• Nutmeg can extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
• The density of neuron star is 1.5 to 3 times of sun’s mass.
• Almost 85% of the universe is a form of dark matter.
• The first toilet ever seen on television was on “Leave It to Beaver”.
• Only one person in two billion will live up to 116 of age.
• 200 companies contributing 29% to the world economy employs only 0.9% of the world’s work force.
• 98 tons of ore historic buried plant material is used to make one U.S gallon of gasoline.
• An estimated 16,000 people worldwide are becoming infected with HIV every day.
• Strong negative emotions lead to damage of immune system.
• Due to pollution and overfishing, population of American, Asian and Europeans eels have declined up to 99%.
• The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.
• Neutrons have a life of 14 minutes outside the nucleus of an atom.
• Only 22% of original forests on earth have remained.
• There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.
• Humans are the only primates having pigment in the palms of their hands.
• On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
• Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.

Ashley Logan Video shoot

Woman sues funeral home for cremating husband's artificial leg

A northern Idaho woman says a funeral home cremated her husband without permission and in the process destroyed an artificial leg worth more than $7,000.

DeeDee Strimas also claims in a lawsuit that English Funeral Chapels & Crematory gave her the cremated remains of someone other than her husband. She is suing for the value of the leg and for damages of more than $10,000 for "emotional and physical distress." She suffers from "headaches, depression, insomnia accompanied by nightmares, and fear that the remains are not those of her late husband," her lawsuit says.

John Strimas died on July 24, 2005, at age 62. He was a local doctor.

According to the lawsuit, a funeral home employee gave DeeDee Strimas a cremation authorization form three days later. But she said she later learned her husband's remains had been cremated a day earlier.

The lawsuit, filed last week, alleges that the funeral home filled out paperwork reporting her husband had no prosthetics. But she said her husband was an amputee, and the lawsuit claims his prosthetic was either thrown away or cremated with his body.

"Plaintiff was assured that her husband's body had been cared for, cleaned and prepared for cremation in reverent and respectful manner," according to the lawsuit. "In fact, it appears as though he was cremated in the same clothes he had on when he died and that he was not carefully prepared and washed."

The lawsuit contends that if employees had cleaned and prepared the body, they would have noticed the artificial leg, the AP reports.

Tattoo with identifying details leads to prosecution of thief in Bristol, UK

A thief in Bristol, United Kingdom, has been prosecuted due to incriminating evidence in the form of a tattoo on his neck with his name and date of birth that was captured by police CCTV, when he was in the process of stealing a Satellite navigation system in a car planted by police to find criminals.

Aarron Evans, the thief, today pleaded guilty to charges of theft at Bristol Magistrates' Court. He is aged 21 and he is illiterate and has no fixed address.

The sentence was for seven months imprisonment.

Ian Wylie, who is police superintendent for the Bristol district commented on the incident. "Criminals won't be tolerated in Bristol and we will keep catching them and bringing them before the courts," he said. "We get such excellent images from these cameras that there is often, and never more so than in this case, no doubt who the criminal is and what they are doing. When faced with such evidence, there is no other way to go than 'guilty'."

"The photographs don't just lead us to the person breaking into the car either. Further police work has also led us on many occasions to the handlers of the stolen property and people the car criminal is working with. We have also received information from members of the public through Crimestoppers where they have reported stolen property being sold on the streets, door-to-door or in local pubs," Wylie continued. "The covert car has been a magnificent asset to the teams working to reduce car crime happening and those arresting car criminals. "

"We will continue to play our part but members of the public can still help us in reducing the opportunity for thieves; don't leave valuables on display in your vehicle and, better still; take them out of the car completely."

Woman slashed to death, man steals $6 for beer

A teenager slashed a woman to death as he attempted to steal $6 off her—to buy beer. The 16-year-old boy, Alan Tanguay, now faces a first degree murder charge over the death of 58-year-old Patricia Kaliszeski from Palm Bay, Florida.

Tanguay told investigators he was approached by Kaliszeski with a knife as he was burgling the house. He took it from her and used it to attack her, before hitting her over the head with a lamp.

Tanguay is currently being held in a juvenile holding area but he could face an adult charge over the incident.

When police accessed his account on a social networking web site, they found statements describing how he enjoys gory violence, "like people getting their neck slit and tounge [sic] pulled out".

One witness told police that the teenager claimed to have killed before and also that "he has a rule—if he finds someone in the house during a burglary, he has to kill them".

It is not known whether Tanguay has already appeared in court or when he is scheduled to appear, according to police.

STOCKED FRIDGE

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

COMING OUT SOON

Claude Picasso

* "A graduate of Old Bridge High School, I currently am attending an University [ Kean University] majoring in Chemistry."
* "One can say im a mut [due to ethnicity] but mostly i got french blood running in me. Fluent in a few languages---English, french, creole.
* "A big fan of sport [Basketball and soccer]
* "A freelance writer at times. Tend to drift away from reality and emprisoned myself in the darkest place one can imagine----the mind"
* Music----am a producer. Just the art of hitting a few buttons, playing an instrument, and recording vocals on it just fascinates me. Been making beats for years plus. I wouldnt say im the greatest just yet, but only time will tell
* A True Competitor. If im not 1st, then im a loser. Even if im positioned well at second place. And if one say i will lose, well one can say "At least he tried"

A Notion on the word "FUCK"

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

* It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
* It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
* It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).
* It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations...

Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"

Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."

Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"

Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."

Aggression "FUCK YOU!"

Disgust "Fuck me."

Confusion "What the fuck.......?"

Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!"

Despair "Fucked again..."

Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."

Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"

Lost "Where the fuck are we."

Disbelief "UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE!"

Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"

Denial "I didn't fucking do it."

Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."

Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"

Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"

Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"

Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Directions "Fuck off."

Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."

It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty."

It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"

It can be maternal- "Mother fucker."

It can be political- "Fuck Dan Quayle!"

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history...

"What the fuck was that?"
- Mayor of Hiroshima

"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?"
- Captain of the Titanic

"That's not a real fucking gun."
- John Lennon

"Who's gonna fucking find out?"
- Richard Nixon

"Heads are going to fucking roll."
- Anne Boleyn

"Let the fucking woman drive."
- Commander of Space Shuttle

"What fucking map?"
- "Challenger," Mark Thatcher

"Any fucking idiot could understand that."
- Albert Einstein

"It does so fucking look like her!"
- Picasso

"How the fuck did you work that out?"
- Pythagoras

"You want what on the fucking ceiling?"
- Michaelangelo

"Fuck a duck."
- Walt Disney

"Why?- Because its fucking there!"
- Edmund Hilary

"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?"
- Joan of Arc

"Scattered fucking showers my ass."
- Noah

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head."
- John F. Kennedy

What is the fundamental flaw in human nature? Pride or Greed?

If you are shrewd like i, you would say neither. The only flaw happens to be what makes this world around you as you know it functional, and that is being HUMAN. People tend to dwell upon the fact that one has to much pride or one is to greedy but also fail to realize thats what our pride does---mask our judgment when it comes to one having a flaw. Having the ability to feel. What causes greed? What causes pride? What causes anger? Feelings are the flaw in human nature, however we could not exist without them. There would be no will, no determination, no drive. To feel is a gift, and a curse, but something we could not exist without.